Ke$ha too "CRISPY" to meet fans in Baltimore

Gawd Bless her, the Ke$ha.

To her credit she has toured her ass off, according to management, the better part of 2013.  That Pitbull group can get aggressive...

So, let me tell you about Baltimore.

My question is how does an artist who has multiple chart toppers play a 4,600 person venue? Merriweather Post Pavillion would suit, no?

Let me tell you why The Ke$ha isn't playing Merriweather on her own.

It is not short of fans, or of the new wave of teens on mali (yea, ps, parents your kid was quiet in the backseat of your mini van for a reason).

I don't need to scratch my own back on this; but I am able to call a spade when I see one...if you let your youngish kids go to pop concerts without supervision you are totally fucken nuts.

So, Ke$ha, comes out in this multicolored unitard.  Which by fashion stage standards is pretty passé, very 2011, pseudo Britney Spears revival.  Pop/Rock Goodwill much?  Do not even get me started on her new weave and ninja dancers.  Why isn't she sticking to being weird and eating beards?  The beard people know you are hungry Ke$ha, they are waiting for you.

I am not in any way flattering myself, but my weave kicks her weaves ass (#CelebrityDeathWeave Match), and I have ninja dancers in my bathroom that dispense my toothpaste.  Seriously, that Ninja Toothbrush was the best investment I have ever made.  Every.  Morning. White! TEETH! :)

Ok, Ke$ha blows up the room by bringing in a rolling octagon stripper pole, (which, didn't I make that in my studio last week?) on wheels, where she climbs on top to dazzle fans.  But, the secret is...bitch got strippers!  And they do what strippers do.  And she pays them, which I respect, job well done strippers.

THEN SHE MAKES MONEY RAIN ON THE GENERAL ADMISSION (clap, clap grab for money for cocktails mom, you deserve it)

By the way, we earn that money.  I have never seen a lower budget "mass" production than this.  I truly  have no words...the rest of this blog will be a list of cheap things I saw on stage...

So cheap, its not even trailer trendy

CRAP 'FETTI CANNONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where was the GLITTER???????? your disco ball doesn't count!!!
you put no glitter on the floor, your song says you do that.  :((((

Stage Costumes that you used that I can buy from Party City, ready go:

(I preface this with being severely near-sided but i know what i saw....and that shit was total crap)

Unicorn Face
Front Yard Blow Up Face
Chicken
Fog
Ninja
Tranny Wigs (really?)
Fog
Dancers, poor guys.
Remember that time when you had "back up singers?"
Generic stage Fog

Did you buff your va-geen? woof.
everyone at the construction sight says "hooray!!!"

I was mega pumped to see Ke$ha in concert. She has some club singles, that for me, will always be included in my Art/Rock Playlist.  THIS PLACE 'BOUT TA BLOW.  I totally credit her for her quick kitsch.

Girlfriends got some flare but Velveeta called...they are down to sponsor you.

#AA

Thanks to CP and Vodka.  Everyone wins!